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May 21, 1998
Volume CVII, No. 18

Willy Wonka busted for labor violations
The Willy Wonka Confection Factory was shut down Tuesday morning on several counts of labor violations. Acting on a tip from an anonymous child code-named “Charlie,” federal and state agents staged an early-morning raid on the Wonka compound.

Britain rocked by ‘ballet hooliganism’
Clashes on Wednesday between police and local youths left four injured and over 45,000 in property damage in what constable Harry Swancourt is calling “the worst outbreak of ballet hooliganism since the European finals in 1988.”

‘Soldier of Fortune 500’ list released
Soldier of Fortune magazine today released its annual “Soldier of Fortune 500” index, honoring the 500 best-armed corporations in America.

Local poet, 38, turns into turnip
Patrons of Wordsworth Bookstore experienced a shock yesterday when local poet Sylvia Summertag turned into a turnip in the middle of a reading. Summertag was 38.

Apartment hunter-gatherers in danger
The Massachusetts Realty Association (MRA) yesterday petitioned city officials to regulate the migratory movement of the ‘Brighton Bedouins,’ Boston’s last remaining tribe of apartment hunter-gatherers.

World news in brief

National news in brief

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