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September 10, 1998: The Year in Review

Where to make love & be seen

Vanity’s greatest companion is youth. If there’s one thing we love, it’s hot and raunchy young love in public places. And with the coming of spring, there’s one thing we’re sure of: twenty-somethings are horny and rarin’ to go — in public, no less! This little fact is nothing new to the editors of the Weekly Week: we’re horny and rarin’ to go as well. That said, we’ve taken it upon ourselves to find the top-10 places that young people can go to make love and be seen!

10. Downtown Framingham. We know, we know. "Framingham? It’s so far away." Well, we say, "Framingham is for the young and the virile." There is perhaps no better place to get it on outside the Route 128 corridor than the degenerating downtown of this mall-infested suburb. One of the nation’s largest towns, Framingham has a distinctively urban feeling of danger that makes rough lovemaking on asphalt such an exciting experience. Take the Riverside green line all the way to the end.

9. During the intermission of Frank McCourt’s tirelessly tiring "The Irish and How They Got That Way" at the Wilbur Theater in Boston. Few plays have come to Boston in the past five years with as much anticipation. Few have been more of a letdown. However, there is something about the play’s redundant boastfulness mixed with the dark theater lighting and the cool moist air that leaves our groins tingling. When the crowd gets up for its 15-minute intermission, you should start gettin’ it on.

8. Sonsie. You knew this little blue-chip bistro had to make it in here somewhere. Why? Because Sonsie is THE PLACE TO BE SEEN. And this extends to lovemaking.

7. On a Duck Tour. Everyone likes doing it on a waterbed. Have sex on the Charles! The somewhat goofy and often ridiculed duck tour is one of the best kept lovemaking secrets in Boston.

6. The Public Garden. Why here, you ask? We say, "why not here!" There are so many reasons to do it in the Public Garden. Make way for lovemaking! Robert McCloskey’s famous brass ducklings are a constant turn-on. The wending paths and soft, damp grass create the feeling of a romantic era that has passed. Whisper T.S. Eliot to your lover and then strip them nude and ravage them.

5. Underneath the McGrath Highway in Somerville. Amongst the broken bottles and urine streaked I-beams, there are plenty of nooks in which you and your loved one can hide away as the cars and trucks rumble overhead.

4. The Hatch Shell on a fine summer’s day. Rejoice with your lover on the paths and grass among Boston’s rollerblading, mountain-biking, power-walking fanatics! Everyone here is toned and turned on! This is the playground of the city’s horny white-collar crowd. They want to see you do it.

3. Haymarket on a busy Saturday morning. Find a vendor that will let you and your loved one "conduct some business" underneath their table. The overabundance of sights, smells and foreign chatter is more than enough to make any couple taste the sweet fruit juice of hot monkey love!

2. The Ted Williams Tunnel. Pay homage to the "Splendid Splinter" by doing the nasty in the breakdown lane of Boston’s newest, widest airport tunnel. Exhaust fumes will bring you both to a torrid climax as the authorized-only vehicles hurtle by. Catch a cab to the tunnel, and conduct a "Big Dig" of your own!

1. World XXX Video. We had to represent the old-school scene. Although this is a rather "private place" to conduct your business, we think that there’s a certain nostalgia in having sex in Boston’s last standing peep show in the historic Combat Zone. At least one stranger will be watching you — the stripper in the booth. Alfred Crimmins, the ticket man for the past 27 years, tells all patrons entering the private booths the same thing: "Don’t start strokin’ ‘til you get a token." Need we say more?

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