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September 24, 1998

Resolution 27: Which Way to Vote?

Point:

I have thought long and hard about Resolution 27 and its effect on Proposition 8. I spent maybe three or three and a half hours weighing the pros and cons of "Plan 9" and "Passenger 57." They were not good films, though the first remains admired for its kitsch.

If Resolution 27 passes, changes may occur that would prolong elements of the status quo that have already become burdensome. Think about traffic or rights to privacy and issues of class. All of these would be affected, some more than others and others more or less than others as well. Some might be affected in ways no one can imagine (cattle, farmers, Jews, Jews really). Proposition 8 is not something we want liberals or conservatives washing their hands of in a manner reserved for the Secretary of Defense or Justice Rehnquist.

If gay men, gay women, the Turks, a handful of Republican Governors from Midwestern and Southern states can do nothing more than fight with a child — then quit. I think that a baby has the right to live in the woods. Heck, I think a baby, even a supernatural baby, should be given pants that have a bottom that can be unbuttoned so they can poop easily. Don’t get me wrong, I myself have what’s called "odor."

But if this thing passes, then the government will lose its system of checks and balances and weights and measures which, unbeknownst to most Americans, keeps the system of checks and balances in check.

So this November, vote your heart, vote your country — vote Proposition 8 a new asshole. It needs it! America!


Counterpoint:

I disagree. I believe it is time for the country to move on. We were all shocked and betrayed by some of the facts brought out by the accusations that were made public through the means in which information is disseminated. But I would argue that this is not the case.

What a President is willing to do to hide that fact that he is gay is phenomenal. However, what a country is willing to do to hide the fact that it is homophobic is even more shocking. What surprises me the most is that the people, of what I thought was America, are not willing to go through with, what I thought, was a good plan for fiscal enhancement. Gay or not, he made love to one hundred and fifty thousand women in a gravel pit in the span of two days — with no water to restore energy! Gay indeed.

It is time to untangle the mire that is our "future" and move forward in "trucks and cars" to restore what sense of unity and trinity that country and God still have. To make love in a manner that disassociates the Holy Ghost from the Son — it’s downright bad!

Mr. President — you stuck a knife into the heart of an elderly tourist who wanted a stool sample from Betty Ford — and then you lied to a number of children with learning disabilities who could never understand the difference between "though" and "thought" because they are bad with t’s!

Honestly, you should resign, or not.

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