Too many cooks help area broth

MALDEN — A group of seven cooks gathered in Malden Tuesday to partake in an annual ritual dispelling the old wives tale about excessive cooks and their negative effect on broth quality. They met at the home of Thomas Randolph and immediately went to work.

The first cook, Walter Muier, set the stage by producing a fine chicken-based broth. The second cook, Bill Adams, added five bullion cubes and announced that it was coming nicely. Wesley Blank, the third cook, stirred while fourth cook Wayne Byrd seasoned the then boiling broth.

Things were now moving smoothly for the fifth cook, Andre David, to taste and adjust the simmering temperature. Sixth cook Harold Hanson set the table and the seventh cook, Veronica Smith, added the corn starch to thicken.

"Things are fine here," said homeowner Randolph. "I'd say that too many cooks actually helped this broth." Randolph himself has a reputation as a fine cook, but decided to hand his kitchen over to the seven cooks, deemed "too many" by the Culinary Institute of America.

"This should put that old notion to rest once and for all," said Randolph.

Black death ravages 1369 Coffeehouse

CAMBRIDGE — Tragedy struck the 1369 Coffeehouse last week, as the Coffeehouse’s goodly inhabitants fell ill to the black plague that has been ravaging all Christendom.

"Methinks it be a curse of Satan," said coffeesmith Jyl Rogers. "Yea, never when I worked at Toscanini’s did we see such an ague."

Pastry wench Melinda O’Connor agreed. "‘Tis an even crueller fate than when I faced the Starbucks Inquisition."