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*** BOSTON'S ONLY REDUNDANT NEWS SOURCE FOR NEWS ***

October 8, 1998
Volume II, Number 3

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In a move that galvanized Constitutional law theorists nationwide, Judge Judy handed down her opinion in Thomas v. Thomas yesterday. Unconvinced by arguments made in the defense of 11-year-old Denise Thomas — and weary of her "lip" — Judy found Denise guilty of "wrongful parakeet death" and awarded pecuniary damages to her twin sister Melissa.

Bee-keeping the faith in Chelmsford
At the end of a long, winding gravel road in Chelmsford, there sits a bee farm. You wouldn’t even know it was there, except for two ominous signs: one, a weathered metal sign that says "No Trespassing"; and another, which merely reads, in block letters four inches high, "Caution: Bees."

"I Can’t Believe It’s Not Birth Control" debuts
Citing a rise in unwanted pregnancies, Fakin’ It, makers of the top-selling butter substitute "I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter," launched a new product line of birth control remedies based on old-wives tales and cultural myths.

FALL TELEVISION PREVIEW

ART brings in das Brecht, das funk

Local banks to add more surcharges

News in brief

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